On Monday, U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson gave the players an early victory in their fight with the owners over how to divide the $9 billion business. When we read this news, we get a bit excited about the upcoming football season….it looks like we’re going to have our teams, our games, and our over the top sport rituals that of course improve our teams chance of winning. Yet, the 2011-2012 football season remains in limbo. Now its the appeals process; the NFL filed a notice of appeal due to concerns that Judge Nelson exceeded her jurisdiction and were granted an expedited stay that puts her ruling on hold until the appeals process plays out. Waiting, Waiting and more waiting.
This lockout, appeals process, and the waiting game, can remind us of times we too have felt ‘locked out’ of our sex life with our partner. We attempt to appeal to our partner, sometimes even begging and pleading, only to have to wait….wait….and wait. Just like the stubbornness being played out in the NFL. The partner with the lowest sex drive, determines when the sex happens, how it happens and where it happens. It can feel like you have no say and the ‘judge’ will determine the next step.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=6424084
We want our players back on the field this fall and we want our partners back in our beds. The final outcome of the NFL is completely independent from our fan desires, yet the outcome in your bedroom can be in your control. We know nagging, passive aggressive attempts, pouting and angry withdraws do NOT work.
What will work???
1) Compliments
I really love when you touch me…… I feels so good when we……. Just looking at you I’m filled with passion and….
Its hard to be around you and not touch you… you’re so beautiful to me…so irresistible. And so on.
Get the feel of this? You know the whole ‘you get more bees with honey than vinegar’, it works! Watch your tone, make sure you’re sincere and let your partner know they are wanted.
2) Requests with Respect
I would really like to…. I would be a lot of fun to….. I miss your….on my….lets do that now…
3) Humor
Pressure and condescensions do not work, be light, be funny
4) Be a team player, help out in order to balance tasks and allow more couple time
5) Educate
Having sex 3 times per week reduces your chance of heart attack and stroke by 50%, improves immunity 30%, facilitates bonding with the release of oxytocin.
Remember good sex is 3 to 13 minutes….. 45 minutes for the whole body love play session.
Use these tasks and get playing in your own field.
For our beloved football teams, that might be up to prayers and wishful thinking.
My wish is for a great 2011-2012 football season and a great game in your bedrooms.
AntonSexTherapy 