Get your Vibe On

Despite our poor economy and sluggish sales, vibrators have been in high demand.  In the U.K.,  women’s  vibrators have nearly trumped the sales of smart phones.

In this hilarious Saturday Night Live sketch, they address Mothers Day gifts, the Kindle,  and the ever popular Fifty Shades of Grey erotic novel. In one section you see, Kristen Wiigs character, masturbating with the Hitachi Magic Wand.

Saturday Night Live Fifty Shades of Grey skit

The Hitachi Wand vibrator seems to be one of Betty Dodsons favorite.  Betty is an expert in human sexuality and the Queen of Masturbation, having written, Sex for One: The Joy of Self Loving, Liberating Masturbation, and Orgasms for two: The Joy of Partner sex.

Her fame not only comes from her books and erotic art, but from her over 30 years of conducting workshops for groups of women to explore their sexuality and masturbate together. Watch Betty’s video on The Masturbation Month of May.

Betty Dodson Masturbation Month of May

You can purchase the Magic Wand on Amazon for $54.95. 

A recent survey reported 50% of Americans are using vibrators and 70% of men noted their comfort with using the device.  Scientific American reported the sex toy industry is a $500 million dollar per year industry , while Durex noted the U.S is 2nd in the world for vibrator purchases.

GoodVibrations.com lists their 45 top selling vibrators which includes the Hitachi Wand, the Rabbit, the Bullet, and the We-Vibe.

They have increased sales by 60% since the 1990′s.

Adameve.com, lists 8 different types of vibrators: Rabbit, Clitoral, G Spot, Realistic, Bullet/Egg, Anal, Traditional and Vibrator Kits.

Now many traditional Condom companys such as Durex, Trojan, and Lifestyles are offering an over the counter vibrator located in your local market with the condoms and lubrication.

The Durex website states,

“And you thought Durex just made condoms?

They’re tastefully designed and disarmingly discreet. The range is designed with a modern woman in mind, featuring a variety of styles to suit different tastes. Experiment a little and you’re sure to find the one that’s right for you and your partner.  Make the world’s No.1 condom brand the world’s best vibrator brand too!”

I highly recommend the Durex line of vibration products.  They’re affordable, easy to purchase and easy to use.  The Durex Play is a small cock ring with a vibration device so that during love play and intercourse, it provides clitoral stimulation.  The convenient size does not seem to interfere with intercourse as it is compact and site focused.

Lelo,  is the world’s leading designer brand for intimate lifestyle products. The company has ‘transformed the look, feel and function of how personal massagers are perceived, bringing a new level of luxury to products of this kind.’

The highlights of the Lelo Tiani Sense Motion Pleasure Object are its revolutionary design that is controlled by tilting your palm or flicking your wrist.  Highlights include:
“• Operate the vibrator in SensoMotion or Standard modes
• Tilt or wave the controller around to power the vibrator in SensoMotion Mode
• Standard turns the controller into your typical wireless remote
• Pick from 6 vibration patterns & 16 speeds in Standard
• Wireless signal ranges up to 39 feet
• Controller buzzes in sync with vibrator so you can feel the mode for yourself
• Vibrator is designed to be worn during sex for extra stimulation
• Smaller arm massages her G spot, while the larger tickles her clit”

Support the economy.

Go buy a Vibrator.

Enjoy!

Jack-off Bandit

I discovered this absurd and hilarious video on YouTube.com, which has inspired me to blog about masturbation.

Is it because he looks as high as a kite, or that he addresses the commonality of masturbation, or maybe just his blantant link to jacking of to your Facebook pictures that makes this  video so obtuse & addictively funny?

He  exhibits his rhythm & use of lubrication to masturbate. This is a fairly common way to jack off: using one to two hands on the shaft of your penis in an up & down motion with the aid of lube.  Yet, what if you want to take your masturbation to the next level?

MadeMan, provides 10 tips to your self loving:

1. I’m Hot and I’m ColdMasturbate as you normally would. Have a cup or bowl with ice next to you. When you are about to ejaculate, grab the ice in your free hand. The sensation of the cold in one hand and the hot in the other hand will give you extra sensation.

2. PB & V (Plastic Bag & Vaseline) Fill a plastic bag with Vaseline and place your erect penis into the bag. Once you’re inside, place the bag with your penis still inside between the mattress and box spring of your bed. Pump in and out until you reach orgasm. This method not only feels really great but there is no mess, except to wash off your penis.
3. Stop and GoFor this method you will use your preferred way of masturbating. When you feel you are very close to orgasm, STOP! Put your hands behind your head so that you are less tempted to reach down and continue. Do this about three more times or until you simply cannot stand it any longer. Finally let yourself climax. When you finish this time, it will have been worth the wait.
4. Hot and WetGet a towel, soak it with hot water and ring it out so that it is not dripping wet. But you want the wet heat, it adds to the feeling. Put a condom on. Wrap the towel (not too tightly) around your penis. Pump in and out of it. The wet heat feels fabulous!
5. Keep UpTurn on your favorite porno and imagine you are the one doing all the different things to the girl in the movie. While hearing the noises on the movie and using your imagination, you should have no trouble at all coming to a quick orgasm.
6. Pillow On TopLay on your back and pull a pillow on top of you. Have your erect penis flat on your abdomen. Pull the pillow over your penis. Rub it back and fourth; you can also thrust your hips for added feeling. This will give the sensation of a woman on top.
7. Water Wings Get a pair (they only come in pairs) of children’s water wings. Blow them up as much as possible. Coat the inside with baby oil. Insert your penis and pump away. The walls will be enclosed on your penis and feel fantastic.
8. Two HanderWhile masturbating, the scrotum gets overlooked. In this method they become a part of the orgasm. While masturbating in any way you like, take your other hand and lightly and slowly massage your scrotum. This will add to your orgasm with little added effort.
9. Banana Hammock Buy a banana make a small slit in the side and tip. Scoop out most of the banana, but leave some of it as it makes a great lube. Slide it over your erect penis, lay on your stomach and slide up and down. The smoothness of being able to slide in and out will have you wanting to get more bananas soon.
11. Tampon Insert The last technique is a bit more involved than most of the others, but if you’re into this kind of thing, it will pay off. Get a tampon, open it and insert it into your anus (you may want to add some lube first). With the tampon inserted into your anus, kneel on your bed or floor and pump your penis in your hand for an extremely powerful orgasm.

Corey Silverberg suggests in his article, Advanced Masturbation Techniques, to try these:

• Use Sex Toys

• Watch Yourself
• Talk Dirty to Yourself
• Explore Taboo Fantasies
• Trying New Positions

Whether you, like the Jack Off Bandit, enjoy the up and down motion of your hand with lubrication while masturbating or are open to trying the more adventurous tips above, take advantage of the pleasure you can provide to yourself.

Fifty Shades of…..Exhausting

Fifty Shades of……Exhausting

As a follow up to my last post recommending the ever popular Kindle and paperback book, Fifty Shades of Grey, I now retract my recommendation to read this erotic novel.

I melted and swooned over the first book, wishing to implant myself into the scenes of the Red Room of Pain, being a submissive to the  uber rich, über handsome, Mr. Christian Grey.

In book two, Fifty Shades Darker, the frustrating themes of control, over-thinking and insecurity become nauseating. I was able to set down my rational feminist self to enjoy book one, yet with the continuance of the above noted themes, I can no longer swoon, fantasize, or engage in my ‘orgasm drunk’ drinking game.

Anastasia, the female love interest, reinforces our societal view of women as jealous, insecure, and needy, over-thinkers.  Why does he love Me? Who  is She? Will he leave me for Her? Will I ever make him truly happy with all of his needs for Dominance?  Will the relationship last? Can I even continue to breathe if he is out of my life?  …… See….. Nauseating.

Fantasy is supposed to be just that- fantasy, which I easily accept with her orgasmic abilities, his financial successes, beauty, and sexual skills.  So, why is it necessary to reinforce a dependent stereotypical woman’s ability to breathe and thrive as only through our relationships with  men.

Can’t Anastasia be a confident, secure, young female who enjoys the interplay of agreed upon sexual submission and dominance without jealousy, second guessing his every move, and need to uncover his early life traumas?

Can’t Christian work through his trauma without overt control outside of the bedroom?

My fantasies do not include insecurities, themes of trauma, jealousy, nor a marriage proposal. As I see it, these narratives are unnecessary to a good erotic novel and spoil the escapism, arousal, and thrill we seek in these books.

Give me hot sex, stable characters and adventures, and keep all of our real life issues in our real lives.

Addendum:

I relapsed. Despite my exhaustion at EL James’ erotic series, I continue to read.

After finishing the second book, Fifty Shades Darker, I was so frustrated, I never would have guessed that I would purchase the third book in the series.

Seriously?

I recommend NOT reading Fifty Shades.. but continue to  myself?

I wondered why I bought book three, then I realized I couldn’t get a few images out of my mind.

At the end of Fifty Shades Darker, Christian and Anastasia are in the Red Room of Pain.  She is nude, on her knees, with her arms bound behind her, wearing an eye mask, a gag ball in her mouth,  just waiting for Christians touch.

Christian places nipple clamps on her, a vibrator inside her vagina, his finger in her rectum, all moving rhythmically to the blaring music.

This scene pulled me back in.

Back into the poor writing, drama, ridiculousness and exhaustion.

All for the mere hope of just one more erotic scenario that delights my fancy.

I guess I’m playing orgasm drunk again.

So read with caution, its awful, exhausting and unfortunately still addictive.

Fifty Shades of……Addictive Erotica

“Fifty Shades of Grey” by E.L. James, is a hit!

A New York Times Bestseller

What does this book have that makes it so addictive?

Its Steamy!

Its Hot!

And you’ll want  to  show just how obedient you can be in the Red Room of Pain.

Some are saying its a ‘marriage saver’.

I say,  reading erotica assists women in connecting to their sexual selves and therefore, are feeling horny and acting upon it.

Marriage saver – no.

Heating up your sex life- Yes.

The theme of innocent yet sassy and beautiful female with the over bearing uber handsome male who both fawns over and controls her – is ages old.

This book is a hit in thanks to Twilight fans,  the viral effects of social media, www.goodreads.com site, and our ease of access via Kindle or Nook.

I purchased Fifty Shades of Grey on my Kindle and within the first day consumed 7 hours of this novel.

Cooking and reading.

Laundry and reading.

Feeding the dog and reading.

Cozy in my pajamas and reading.

I wanted more….and more.

Not more of the whimpy, over-thinking, immature, self doubting,  22 year old Anastasia.  Or the overt power hungry attempting to rewrite childhood trauma through being the sadistic dominant,  27 year old Christian.

But the dynamic of  lust, wantonness, raw sexual arousal,  pure passion, intensity, and libidinal insanity.

More Christian Grey.

Dominating me.

Adoring me.

Spanking me.

Ravishing me.

Opening the orgasmic floodgates of my most hidden desires.

In Chapter 25, Anastasia and Christian are in the Red Room of Pain, as he blasts Forty Part Motet by Thomas Tallis

‘Kneeling by the door, I am naked except for my panties. My heart is in my mouth….Anticipation runs bubbling like soda through my veins.  What will he do? I take a deep steadying breath, but I cannot deny it, I’m excited, aroused, wet already….’

After a full body fur mitt rubdown and then a good flogging, Christian’s, ‘nose and lips…running down my neck and throat, kissing and sucking…trailing down to my breasts, Ah! Taunting each of my nipples in turn…his tongue swirling round one while his fingers relentlessly tease the other….”

‘He’s kneeling up between my legs…and in one swift, slamming move, he’s inside me….oh fuck…and I cry out again. The quiver of my impending orgasm begins….’

If you can put down your feminist, rational self, and accept its poorly written, with ridiculous scenarios, absurd plotlines ……you won’t be able to stop reading it.

I even thought it could be a possible drinking game.

Called Orgasm Drunk.

Each time Anastasia has an orgasm, have a drink.

After one hour, you’ll be tipsy if not more.

Put on your reading glasses, the kids are in school, open up the ultimate Mommy Porn.

This book is addictive erotica.

Seduce Me??

The age old art of Seduction

Temptation

Enticement

Charm

Appeal

Sex

There’s a variety of books, articles and websites talking specifically about how to seduce someone.  The M3 Model lists seduction in three phases:

Attraction, Comfort and Seduction.

The attraction phase is divided into :
A1 – Approach
A2 – Attracting the HB or Female-to-male Interest (Demonstrate high value, using gimmick, magic, psychic routine, humor ……)
A3 – Male-to-Female Interest (The hot babe must be baited into demonstrating her own value. By this way, you’re just attracted to her by her personality or charm, other than her looks)

The comfort phase is divided into :
C1 – Building rapport
C2 – Building emotional connection and physical connection
C3 – Intimacy

The seduction phase is divided into :
S1 – Foreplay
S2 – LMR  (Last Minute Resistance. Once you have it, she may say “we should stop …” or “We better be careful about where this is going”.)
S3 – Sex

The Game:“Penetrating the Society of Pickup Artists,”, by Neil Strauss, has 10 chapters which are titled: 1) Select a Target 2) Approach and Open 3) Demonstrate Value 4) Disarm the Obstacles 5) Isolate the Target  6) Create an Emotional Connection 7) Extract to a Seduction Location 8) Pump Buying Temperature  9) Blast Last Minute Resistance 10) Manage Expectations.

Is this really seduction?

It sounds to me like, Divide and Conquer. 

Power, Overtake, Master, Dominate, Manipulate and Control.

Where’s the love?

Psychology Today blogger Caroline Simon, PHD. defines seduction as:

“Seduction sets out to get a “yes” whether or not sex compromises the welfare and sexual autonomy of the seduced.  It is no accident that the root meaning of “seduce” is “separate” or lead away. Those who are seduced are led away from the values central to their own sense of integrity.”

“Seduction may look “romantic” but it is really all about self-centered power.”

Simon’s check list for seduction:

1. There is mutual consent to all activities.
2. The pursuer wants to get to know the pursued in order to obtain consent.
3. Deception or calculated ambiguity is used to obtain consent.
4. The pursuer is indifferent to the welfare of the pursued.
5. The pursuer’s motives in the pursuit are personal pleasure or an ego-boost.
6. The pursued person consents to sexual activities which he or she was averse to engaging in or which are at odds with his or her principles or priorities.
7. The pursued person would not consent to all the activities engaged in unless he or she were deceived or manipulated.

That’s no fun.

Using your skills and attractiveness to lure someone in so that you can get them to do something willingly yet against their better judgement, their value system, and their real intent.

When you are interested in  ‘catching’ a guy or girl, pay attention to your intent.  Is it to bed them? To wed them? To date them? To win them over? Or just plain ‘get off’?

If your real intent is to bed them and get off, instead of utilizing the steps suggested for ‘seduction’, why not try honesty. Your hot, I’d really like to …… (you fill in the blank).

Be respectful, not only does that other person have attributes you find sexually arousing, they are also a person.  A person who deserves kindness, honesty, and respect.

How about we throw the whole seduction thing out of the window.

Power, control, manipulation, and disrespect for the other person’s values, has no place in the bedroom or in relationships.

Let’s flirt, tease, play – respectfully, consensual, while valuing the other person.

Seduce Me, not.

Lets play.